Dealing with jealousy is a painful and challenging issue for anyone and during divorce, it can be more pernicious.
The person you’ve loved and trusted with your life, has practically turned on you and left.
It can be less painful to think that it’s someone else’s fault, than to face the reality that 2 people contributed to the end of a marriage.
It’s painful to be left for another person. However, it can be just as painful to believe you’re being left for another person and your ex keeps denying it. Are you being gaslighted? Are you going crazy?
For the accused partner, if you’ve begun a new relationship, best to mea culpa and be honest. The truth always comes out eventually. The longer you lie the more hurt and manipulated your ex will feel.
If you’re not in another relationship, the dynamics can be even more challenging. You can’t prove a negative (e.g. I am not having an affair with Tony), and it’s exhausting continuously denying, denying, denying.
This is where a mediator helps or talk with your consulting attorney about how to bring the accusations and the truth into the room. Mediation works best when we face reality, be it super painful or extremely irritating. We need reality as the base for the conversations to be meaningful and useful, when structuring your future.